How does an old blogger relaunch a blog?
What happens to a blog deferred?
Does it involve dry raisins?
What year is this?
2021?
How close to the apocalypse are we?
How many posts to keep from the old blog?
21?
What about those photos of the ex-girlfriend in that post from 2010?
Will people still think we’re together since I haven’t posted in a decade?
How should one write a blog title in 2021?
Something catchy, helpful, informative, and clickworthy?
Like, “How to Relaunch a Blog in 2021”?
Or just give up on marketing and readability and “personal branding” and type word-vomity lowercase without punctuation or sentence structure like a 2001 livejournal?
How much has WordPress changed in 10 years?
Has the latest blogging technology taken over humanity and become self-aware?
Will it judge me for eating donuts while I blog?
How much have I changed in ten years?
Will I judge myself? (I have grown a bit of a belly.)
What do random strangers on the internet want to read about?
Is it donuts?
What about SEO? Should I write copy that will rank high on Google?
What will happen if I write all my blog posts to appeal to a search-engine ranking algorithm?
Does that mean the machine has taken over?
What if I have to relaunch A blog again in 10 years?
Will I have to rewrite all the blog content to appease the web-crawling machines of 2031?
Will I still have to put search-engine optimization keywords in awkward-looking headers to make them happy?
What kind of content will the bots want in 10 years?
What is a “power word”?
Why do I need “a positive or a negative sentiment”?
Haven’t we all been through enough drama in 2021?
What happened to blessed equanimity?
Who in my target audience wants to read about my negative sentiments, especially if they contain POWER WORDS OF DOOM?
Do I even have a target audience?
Is it you?
What does Google consider a power word?
The top Google result for “SEO POWER WORDS” lists the following key phrases among its 300+ short power words for climbing Google rankings: Agony, Badass, Beat Down, Bomb, Bully, Crave, Death, Frenzy, Hell, Plague, Secret Agenda, Toxic, What No One Tells You, and…Zen.
Maybe I should’ve titled this post “What No One Tells You About the Agony Hell Plague Toxic Death Frenzy of Relaunching a Blog in 2021: How to Find The Badass Zen You Crave While Uncovering the Secret Agenda of Google Bots”?
Maybe I’ll change it to “How to Relaunch a Blog in 2021: 10 Tips You Need to Produce Quality Content in This Toxic Hell Plague Year.”
Maybe it doesn’t matter. Maybe the badass Zen move would be to hire an AI bot to generate my blog content.
But will the bot also bring me donuts? Perhaps a cup of coffee?
Okay, let me evaluate my performance as a blogger in this hell plague year:
The Rankmath SEO plugin for WordPress gives my new title, “How to Relaunch a Blog in 2021: 10 Foolproof Tips To Find Your Zen in a Plague Year,” a 91/100.
Unfortunately the blog post content is only scoring 85/100. What suggestions does the blog post ranking bot offer to improve my blog content writing?
It says my content isn’t long enough to be optimal. Apparently the best blog post length for SEO is 600 words in 2021.
Fair enough. I edited the new blog post for word count optimization. It’s 2021, and I have finally found my blogging Zen with a solid 92/100.
You win, robots.